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  • Writer's pictureMimi Fayer, LMFT

New Beginnings

Updated: Dec 17, 2018

It is only fitting that the first blog on my website be about new beginnings. This phrase is so peculiar as it evokes so many different meanings. At times, it refers to a positive change such as a new job, new home, or even a new relationship whereas on the flip side, it can also refer to a negative event that happened in our lives. However, no matter the cause of this transition, we can view it as a welcomed change. Here's why.

Like everything in life, there are two sides to the story. It depends on which perspective you take that will determine whether that story has a happy or sad ending. Take for an example a recent break up. I have been there myself, many times in the past. Breakups are difficult and hard to endure while you are going through it. Often, a break up can lead you to feel you are having to start over again from scratch, leaving a sense of wasted time, the time you feel you could have used to develop a relationship with someone else. Rarely does anyone go through a break up and say right away, what did I learn from that relationship or how have I grown? Consider for a second that perhaps you were meant to meet that person to learn more about yourself. Sometimes if we do not go through a difficult relationship, how can we know what a good, healthy relationship looks like? Or, if we did not have a hard time getting along with a certain kind of person, how do we know what kinds of traits are you really looking for, or need for that matter in a partner? It is because we have experienced something that does not work that shows us this is not what we want. More importantly, relationships can reveal many things about ourselves that we never considered before. If breakups are seen as opportunities to grow, gain inner strength, and provide insight on our true needs in a partner, then perhaps we can say, the time spent in the last relationship was not wasted but rather necessary.

All of this is to say we can approach new beginnings from a negative or positive perspective. If we choose the positive side, we can make meaning of the reality we are experiencing and grow from it. We also can learn to accept that which is going on and give ourselves compassion and time to feel the emotions we are currently feeling. This will make meaning for the change going on in your life rather than create several unanswered questions that lead to more confusion and uncertainties.

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